Episode 11: Couples’ Erotic Massage

At the very top of the form it said, “In order to care for the safe, sacred container of the group and to better serve you, we ask that you complete this confidential information form.”

“Baby, what the hell is a sacred container?” I asked as I looked over the required information form for the Couples’ Erotic Massage class Judy had registered us for in early November.  Were we attending a class on the art of intimate massage or a lecture on the search for the Cup of Christ?  Although I wasn’t sure about the ‘sacred container’, I was absolutely certain about my trepidation for being nude around a bunch of other naked people.  I was not a boomer. For me, the Summer of Love had been about watching Captain Kangaroo, not the sexual revolution.  At this point in my life I was just happy that Mr. Greenjeans kept his overalls on.

My eyes peered back to the form:

• What do you most hope to receive from this course?

I haven’t a clue…

• Do you have any concerns you’d like us to know about, any fears?

    Honestly, I’m not really sure about spending two days with a bunch of naked people.  If I bolt during the first 15 minutes of class, please don’t take it personally.

• What other relationship or Tantra trainings have you done?

      None

• Are you in a committed relationship?

      Yes

• With whom?

     Judy

• Does that commitment allow for sharing nurturing, energetically-inspiring touch with another person besides your partner?  .

     Absolutely not!

• Please tell us about your strengths and challenges in intimate, sexual relationships.

     You’re kidding, right?  I’m experiencing the most amazingly deeply profound, soulful, powerfully-connected relationship.  Epic, rare, sublime.  Physically speaking, we can’t seem to make it out of the house on time….ever.  At the time of your workshop, she’ll just be two days home from being gone for more than a week.  You’ll be lucky if we show up by 3pm for your 10am start time (ok, I didn’t write that, but it certainly crossed my mind).

I wasn’t the only one with trepidations. Judy wasn’t sure either that she was up for this class organized by one of her friends.  Not only would she be jetlagged after just returning from China, but we also had started working quite long hours on our book; the thought of some downtime without having to be somewhere–even for erotic massage–seemed very appealing to both of us.  We decided to leave the final decision until the day before class.

The day before came and Judy decided she wanted to attend.  I had learned that a ‘sacred container’ was nothing more than an agreement between the students to be respectful, but I still wasn’t sure about this whole thing.  To help break the ice, Judy took two cups and applied labels that said, “Troy’s Sacred Container”, and “Judy’s Sacred Container”, and we headed off to the class.

Did you know that the left side of the clitoris is more sensitive than the rest?  That deep breathing can prolong pleasure? Or that the heights of pleasure are best achieved by massaging, then stopping, then starting again?  We settled in with the other couples and listened to the trainer in a room filled with colorful scarfs, candles, incense, mats, blankets and a gong–it felt like a cross between a Bombay temple and a youth hostel.  We soon discovered there was a pattern to the day:  Clothes on, learn something, clothes off, test it out.  Do this, rub it that way with a little twisting action, your partner will probably think this feels good.  Somewhere during the day the trainer gathered everyone together and asked if any couples wanted to comment.  We didn’t really have anything to say.  Then she looked directly at us and said, “What about you two?  Based upon the information you sent, I wasn’t expecting anything.  You have some very advanced energy movement happening over there!  Where does that come from?”  Um, I dunno….but we did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

All in all, it wasn’t so terribly uncomfortable.  Yeah, there were naked couples learning different ways to relax and touch each other.  Maybe for some couples this was groundbreaking work.  As for us, we found our own secluded corner, largely ignored everyone else, and concentrated on massaging each other up for a couple of days—more of our usual, just in a different place.

It was nice to have Judy back home.




Click here for Episode 12: We Get a Therapist